this is me at 7:18 am today.
woke up crazy early, had time to screw around with some new makeup, so here’s me all super happy with my autumn look and gonna catch a seat on the 35 cuz it’s early and YAY EVERYTHING!!!
two hours later, when i finally got to work, i’d been asked by three people if someone had died.
so, three things, TTC.
if you run shuttlebuses, maybe don’t run them all from Kipling station, so that they’re rammed full by the time they get to…any other stop.
if you make a nervous guy announce that you’re running shuttlebuses, maybe give that poor guy a script to read, because your subway speakers are such shit that when the driver is rambling on and on, it sounds like “we are *bzzzzt* running *bzzzt* cannibalism *bzzzt* discouraged *bzzzt* THE KABBALAH IS GROWING IN POWER”
third, change your slogan. i heard six different people say “it’s the BITTER way!” and laugh. too easy. no sense of accomplishment. if you make it so easy to mock the shit out of you that any rando can do it, you devalue comedy itself. 
oh and btw fuck all my fellow torontonians who were caught in that mess and didn’t take off their enormous backpacks. i saw three pairs of broken glasses and two old ladies knocked over by students so un self-aware they may as well have been comatose. don’t be an asshole k? thx

this is me at 7:18 am today.

woke up crazy early, had time to screw around with some new makeup, so here’s me all super happy with my autumn look and gonna catch a seat on the 35 cuz it’s early and YAY EVERYTHING!!!

two hours later, when i finally got to work, i’d been asked by three people if someone had died.

so, three things, TTC.

  1. if you run shuttlebuses, maybe don’t run them all from Kipling station, so that they’re rammed full by the time they get to…any other stop.
  2. if you make a nervous guy announce that you’re running shuttlebuses, maybe give that poor guy a script to read, because your subway speakers are such shit that when the driver is rambling on and on, it sounds like “we are *bzzzzt* running *bzzzt* cannibalism *bzzzt* discouraged *bzzzt* THE KABBALAH IS GROWING IN POWER”
  3. third, change your slogan. i heard six different people say “it’s the BITTER way!” and laugh. too easy. no sense of accomplishment. if you make it so easy to mock the shit out of you that any rando can do it, you devalue comedy itself. 

oh and btw fuck all my fellow torontonians who were caught in that mess and didn’t take off their enormous backpacks. i saw three pairs of broken glasses and two old ladies knocked over by students so un self-aware they may as well have been comatose. don’t be an asshole k? thx

sadnessfactory

trillaryclinton:

huffingtonpost:

This Man With Severe Cerebral Palsy Created Mind-Blowing Art Using Just A Typewriter

Last year, 22-time Emmy award-winning reporter John Stofflet posted this news video he created for KING-TV in 2004, featuring Paul Smith and his artistic talents.

See the full video to see more of Smith’s artworks and to learn more about his inspiring story go here. 

this made me cry

sadnessfactory

The Georgia Guidestones were recently updated with a stone tag that reads, “2014”.

The controversial and mysterious Georgia Guidestones, which many contend to be a monument created by the New World Order, have received an unsettling addition that has conspiracy theorists buzzing. At some point in recent days, a small cube bearing the date ‘2014’ was inserted into a notch at the top of one side of the structure’s stone slabs. Many suspicious researchers have expressed concern that the 2014 cube could herald the start of a population reduction plan aimed at reaching the goal of “under 500,000,000” promoted on the Guidestones. More on the story at Vigilant Citizen and the video which revealed the new 2014 cube can be found at YouTube.

C2C: (links to a terrible infowars.com-type site, cuz everybody’s welcome @c2c)

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgia_Guidestones

verbalizations

kammartinez:

Author John Scalzi was on a roll this morning (currently 7:14 AM, 26 Sept. 2014) with a tweet he found from some guy sending out an “ultimatum” to women to “make a choice” between feminism and, well, men like him. So Scalzi launched into a truly magnificent set of scorchers, which I’m posting here for the delectation of people everywhere.

Also: I would like to thank that guy for setting the ultimatum. It makes finding a boyfriend so much easier when the undesirable ones wear a placard identifying themselves.

LIKE A REAL FEMINIST OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF ME

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